Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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