so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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