I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
