Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
