Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
