Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
