you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
