Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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