so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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