windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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