No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
