Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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