Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
