lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
