there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize