funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
