apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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