Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
