I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
