I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
