doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
