Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Semen is not good for contacts.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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