i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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