areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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