haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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