Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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