Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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