In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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