Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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