unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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