that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
either way he was missing a nipple.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
