I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
