I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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