I swear she didn't look like that last week.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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