I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
