Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
