I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
