If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
