I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
