I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
