porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
