I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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