Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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