there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
