i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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