I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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