i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
