I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
