hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
