Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
