im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
