Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You ruined the universe
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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